"If I'm not the best then I'm not doing it!" *emphatic stomp of the foot*
Sounds like a spoiled little kid, right?
That sounds a lot like... me.
SO many times I get caught in the trap that I am not good enough or that I don't know enough. Not good enough to teach, don't know everything about it (whatever that may be), there are millions of others better than me in this or that or another thing, I am not worthy to talk to this person, and on and on.
I know in the back of my mind that if the Lord calls me to a certain situation or position then I am "good enough". Not because of anything I have done or said or will do but simply because He has placed me there. Last night I was talking to a gentleman over the phone about a new position the Lord might place me in. The more he spoke about it, the more my mind cried " Monika! What are you thinking?? You're not good enough, you haven't had enough experience...". I was shaking on the inside. Mr. E__ had to go but he ended the conversation with this. " When I started this school, I didn't feel good enough. I wasn't a professional, but the Lord spoke to me and said that I didn't have to be a professional to bless these people. If the Lord is calling you here, than you are good enough". I thanked him with tears in my eyes. And as I hung up the phone I thanked the Lord. He knew what I needed. He always does.
This is something I wrote back in Nov. of 2008. It still rings so true in my life.... but I am (slowly) learning. :)