Thursday, November 5, 2009

A Change of Plans

Sometimes God has a way of getting us to a certain place just so He can take us somewhere else.

At least, that's what He has to do for me sometimes. I find that sometimes instead of just telling me what will happen or what I should do for this and then this, He only tells me what I need to know for now. Not next week or next month but just for now.

Jesus said "I have yet many things to say unto you, but ye cannot bear them now." (John 16:12)

That has been so true in my life. Especially on this trip.

If I had known that I would be saying until Dec. 3rd (7 weeks! )I know I would have had a hard time coming. I would have come, because He sent me, but He was gracious enough to go easy on me a little.

So what happened... why stay longer?

To be honest, I'm not really sure.

All I do know is that He wasn't finished with me here and that He did speak for me to stay longer. Other than that I am just as clueless as to why I am staying longer as you.

Sure, I am learning so much and meeting so many people... but there's more... I know it.

This trip has really been a sort of proving ground for me. Showing me what I am really made of. Both spiritually and physically. And some of the time... I don't like what I see. But I am so grateful that He loves me enough to show me where I need to grow... it can just be very humbling and frustrating. So often I feel like I should be should be "perfect" and then get upset with myself when I'm not. But I am learning to repent when I make a mistake and move on... I don't want to wallow in self-pity.

Pull up my boot straps and keep moving!

Oh, but back to how the longer stay came about.

Before I left Daddy stopped me and told me that if I needed more time when I got there that was ok. I was like "Ok, thanks but think a month will be long enough".

Then as my date of departure was coming closer and closer, I kept feeling like my time wasn't finished here yet.

But one thing the Lord had to soften my heart to was the idea of spending Thanksgiving away from my family. He slowly started to deal with me in that area by having me read Isaiah. I was reading through when I got to Isaiah 1:14 "... your appointed feasts my soul hateth: they are a trouble unto me: I am weary to bear them." and I just stopped and thought about Thanksgiving. Why do I put so much emphasis on the day? Why can't everyday be a day of thanksgiving? Please don't get me wrong. I love Thanksgiving and think it is a wonderful time for families to come together and fellowship. I just want to make sure that everyday is a day of thanksgiving, that it is a continual attitude of the heart not just an outward showing. And THAT'S what the Lord was showing me, that it isn't about that one day out of the year.

Another confirmation was rather.. well, humbling.
I asked the Lord for $50 and I asked Him to provide it that day.
Looking back, even though it was less then 24 hours, I can't believe I asked for that. But I wanted to be sure. This was a big deal for me as I didn't have extra money to change my flight tickets, which could be around $300, or to pay for the extra stay here and I just wanted to know that I was where He wanted me.

But I didn't feel what I normally felt when I needed to hear His voice... the striving, the frustration, the I-have-to-hear-Him-now-why-can't-I-hear-Him-I-must-be-doing-something-wrong feeling. I just felt peace, like I just knew He was going to speak to me. I even told Him, as I sat there praying and seeking Him, that I wasn't going to "try" to hear His voice in this matter. I knew I was His child and since I wanted and asked Him to show me where I was supposed to be, He would show me. Not because I "did something" to hear His voice, but simply because He loved me and knew all I wanted was His will. And in the mean time, I was supposed to trust and rest.
And you know what?

He gave it to me.

He not only gave me what I asked for but He doubled it!

And He didn't stop there.

... to be continued.


Josh said...

Wow, its so great to hear what the Lord is doing in you over there! It sounds exciting, at least to me over here in the US. Blessings

Isaac said...

Praise the Lord! The message you wrote is very encouraging. Thanks for sharing, it is a testamony to us all.