This past week I have had an intense internal struggle with myself.
Well, maybe not just this week.... it's kinda been my whole life.
You see, I never seem to accept what I do. It's never good enough. It doesn't matter what it is, I can always find something I could have done better. Whether it's work, teaching, relationships, conversations, or even my body it's never the level of excellence it should be. I would make a wonderful quality control.
The Lord has been freeing me one lesson at a time. He has been so faithful and my family has been so patient.
But this past week, when the struggle seemed even more intense, a thought crossed my mind.
I was sitting at the computer and feeling really upset with myself and thought "it's just never good enough, no matter what I do, it's never good enough" instantly the Lord answered "and it never will be. Can't you see that's the way I made you? To be completely and totally dependent on me. You will never, never be able to fulfill My Law, but I'm not asking you to. All I'm asking is for you to trust Me. You have been saved by faith...FAITH. It is not because of what you have done or ever will do, it's because of what I have done for you. Won't you just rest in that?"
Finally, it all made sense. I don't need to be the world's "perfect" which would mean never to fail or make a mistake. Perfection in the Lord is a joyfully surrendered heart, mind and soul to Him. That whatever He asks you to do, say or go you know He has a reason for it and not only a reason but that it's for your good. It's resting in Him and all that He says about you.
I am sure I will be tested on this... but I pray that this time I will speak what He says about me and the situation and not what I think I am seeing.